Every once in a while, someone emails you and it seems ok but then sometimes it goes bad… and bad really fast. So at that point, you just try to follow their logic and realize they’re not working off of any. Nothing is connecting up there. 2 plus 2 equals bananas. And that’s when you just laugh and keep it rolling… sorta like this (and remember, names/numbers are changed to protect the innocent, or in this case, the bizarre):
So, on pof if I received an email that said “5088675309 txt me??… im peter” , I just ignore it. I received that first message from Peter on 3/14/2012. And that’s exactly what I did. I ignored it. Why, when I received another today, almost a month later (“5088675309 im peter.. txt?“), I didn’t ignore THAT one, I have no clue. Maybe I was bored. Maybe I figured well, he’s not bad-looking and he lives local, I’ll throw him back a message on pof and see what happens…. but I’ll be honest with him about my stance on texting.
Cause I HATE that crap. I hate texting someone I don’t know when I’m trying to get to know them. The impersonal nature of the whole thing is a huge turn off.
So I messaged him back, “Thanks, but I don’t text people I meet on here right away until I know them a little better. TY though.” He responded with a brilliantly written “ok whatever that means. no prob. xo“.
My goodness, he had me at “xo”.
Well, I just HAD to respond of course…. because what does he mean “whatever that means”? I’m pretty sure it’s self-explanatory. And I’m pretty nice to people on this site, which is I guess why I get suckered into these conversations…
“It means I don’t text people I am approached by here…it’s that simple. I don’t like conversational texting. I prefer phone calls and face to face. I leave the texting for my business clients. 🙂 “, I explained. Did I need to explain? No, but what the heck, I wasn’t doing anything else at the moment. And *67 is a girl’s best friend….
He responded with “oh i see. well after the experiances ive had on here that sounds more insane than texting at first lol…. girl canceled date last night 2 hours before hand. mom was dehydrated from chemo. then in the mmorning today she sent me a pic of her hand with a diamond on it. she got engaged last night. thats how she told me she wasnt interested. so good luck calling STRANGERS lol”
OK, I’m definitely not giving this guy my phone number by texting him, but I have a throw-away email account I can text people with, which is what I’ve done in the past before I meet someone. The text gets sent from that email address and he can text it back and I get it as an email. No sweat and totally anonymous and private. And my cell phone stays nice and secure and not filled with crazies. Will this one be a crazy? Not sure, but we’ll see. Chances are always good here on pof. Not to mention all the typos and misspelled words in the last email he sent made me cringe. But now I feel bad, the poor guy got blown off from a date AND got sent a picture of that girl with an engagement ring. Aww hell, poor guy…. well, I’ll talk to him a LITTLE more. I’ll be nice and cheer him up, what do I have to lose?
“Oh man, you’re probably right about that. I am sorry you had to experience that, that’s just awful. What a mean woman. 😦 I swear, we could probably write a book on all the dishonest people on this site. Well that aside, you have very nice tattoos. The “imperfect” one on the bottom of your neck… well, one day you will find someone who will think you are perfect for them. No worries. And I just don’t think you can get to know someone via texting. It’s just all so impersonal. I’m probably too old-fashioned for this type of site. Whatcha gonna do?“, I stated back. Well he sure let me know exactly what I was gonna do.
“your gonna text me, then we will share few pix. then we will go out. its simple. and fyi, im 40 somrthing. a typo on the
profile…. peter jones from (insert random town here). find me on FB. thats how interested I am in you……. xo. I dont do that for just anyone“. Well now…. don’t I feel special. Oh, and his dating profile says he’s 35. LOL
Well Peter… isn’t that interesting. Lie number one. Here’s the thing about Plenty of Fish (pof), when you start your profile you put in your birth year and it calculates your age and puts it on the profile. It gives you a week to change it and then, it’s unchangeable. One of the BIG things I have noticed is the men lie about their age. For whatever reason they decide to do it, I am not sure, but they do it all the time.
“OK tell you what then…. I’ll text you from my email. My cell phone is my business line and I am just not comfortable giving it out. And by ’40 something’, what do you mean? Sooo verizon, sprint or at&t so I know where to send the text to?“, I declared. I love his statement “40something” that cracks me up.
Peter responded with “im sprint. im 45 this month. all my pix are from last summer. my FB pic is last week……………..”
The pseudo-professor of the English language inside of me is committing suicide at this point having to read everything he is writing and the way he is writing it. I’m sorry, not really writing it as much as abusing it and dismantling it. Making it cry “mommy” and whimper like a baby…
What the heck, I looked up his facebook and saw his pictures and whatnot there. I wrote him back and let him know I saw the recent pic of him there like he said and he responded with “ok, so you just looked and didnt send friends r? gotcha, your not interested…. no need to answer…… xoxox”
HAHAHA! OK, gonna have to ride this one…. my spidey senses are tingling….. I told him I wouldn’t give him my cell number, does he think I will let him have access to my private facebook profile?? LOL No. I let him know I use my facebook for business. Which is pretty much (partially) true. LOL Well he responded with “if your interested let me know… xoxo im very single. just school and work. no kids. ill be hoping for your text.”
And here emerges the creature of Bipolarity… like a little turtle peeking its head out and testing the water, sniffing the air… the bipolar creature of Peter the fabulously tattooed man comes forth…. OK Peter, I’ll bite. “well we have been chatting here so I assumed the get to know each other process had begun. But to tell me I’m not interested because I didn’t fb request you? I don’t get it…” LOL Oh man… Peter responded with “thought u werent interested if u just looked at my fb and turned away. i gotta go eat. will be waiting… (take a GOOD look at the girl on the back of my arm. xo ttyl”
“Very nice tattoo of the girl. Have a great rest of the afternoon… I’m headed to see a movie with my son now. TTYL“, I responded.
At this point I should let you know that the tattoo on the back of his arm was me. Seriously, it was me. I mean, not REALLY me, but it was me. A portrait of a slightly cartooned woman who could be a dead-ringer for me.
Later on after I got back from the outing with my son, I decided to email/text him. I said hi and he responded with a close up picture of the tattoo of my doppelgänger on the back of his arm. I responded to him letting him know the tattoo was well-done and very nice. He responded back “No. But are u wasting my time like every other loser on that site? I just paid 40 bucks for MATCH cause im sick of the retarded bulllshit on that site!”
OMG lol where did THAT come from?? lol BOOM, FULLY EXPLODED BIPOLAR TURTLE, complete with super-cape and capital letter “B” on its chest! OK, now it’s getting good… “woah! why are you so hostile? I am trying to be nice and complement your tattoo and start a conversation. You asked me to text so I am.” I responded. Oh, dear lord, how will he respond THIS time? “Yea but these convos never go anywhere. At least on match.com the people are interested and are there to MEET“, Peter answered. OK, backup. We just started talking, and he expects that we should have met already or made plans to meet already? HA!
SO I had to set the boy straight cause I was starting to get bored…”Well, the way you are being so negative and hostile I am pretty sure we should never meet actually. These last texts from you… man, not very nice. You shouldn’t take your hostility out on someone you just met.”
The insane are only interesting to watch for so long….
Peter answered back with another closeup pic of himself smiling into the camera and another text/email “Im very nice…… ” sent not from his cell phone but from his email address. Then this from his cell phone “Im very nice. Grab me while u got me…. Xo”
Oh my, well thank goodness he pointed out that I should grab him while I got him. I might have let this one get away!
LOL Well, time to cut things off… and yet prove myself right one more time on why I never give my cell out, so I email/texted him back “Grab you while I got you?? You are ALL over the place. Do me a favor, when you see me on match.com, don’t email me there either. THIS is why I don’t give my cell out… you proved me 100% right.”
Peter let me know I was missing out on something good, I tell YOU… He made sure I knew just what he had to say now… “Yea. If u like me grab me. Or just go on ednlessly jumping form one to another to another and see where u end up. Gotta sleep. Nite“. Poor guy, I think this hostility was really meant for the newly engaged girl he got ditched by. But it certainly made for an interesting 20 minutes.
“A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?” – Albert Einstein
POST PUBLISHING EDIT: It’s the next day and he just sent me another email/text that said “morning sexy……off to work xo“. Oy. Well, at least he knows how to say good morning to someone. LOL